Cries For Help

Two weeks ago my brother-in-law passed away at the age of 50, having suffered from long term psychosis for decades. Never able to work, he suffered bouts of depression throughout his life, with periodic episodes of hospitalizations and violent threats on his aged parents.

Two days prior to his death, Naomi Osaka announced her withdrawal from the 2021 French Open, making headline news, after being fined $15,000 for not participating in post-match media interviews, citing mental health reasons.

On her social media account, her attempts to provide an explanation of her situation, could not have been done in a more respect-deserving manner, from a 23 year old, who has had the courage to stand up to rightly place her own mental health above her star-status career.

Coming from a professional background where it was my job to “sell” and create newsworthy pieces, I appreciate the business of media and readership. I also appreciate the Tennis Federation’s point of view and the link between sponsorship, media, sports, players, endorsements and the ecosystem.

Having said that, the visibility of mental health issues has always been underwhelming and under-covered, against an increasingly upward trend of people suffering from mental health issues.

Sadly, none of us is too far from a friend, family member or acquaintance who suffers from mental health conditions. The question is how sensitive are we to these conditions and how many of us are aware that we CAN be of help.

Naomi Osaka’s act of self-love, not only advocates for mental health sufferers to stand up and unapologetically take action for their mental health & wellbeing, but hopefully also triggers questions on how each of us can educate ourselves & be sensitized on ways to take real action to support those who have shown signs or vulnerability to #mental-health conditions.

We need to get educated

Another close family member of mine has been suffering from depression for over two decades. She has been seeing a psychologist for a number of years now and she says her anxiety attacks had started even from her university days, some 20 years ago.

There was a time, when it came across my mind if she would consider taking her own life, as she felt unable to make even small decisions, helpless, insomniac, physically tired, and that the world could be better without her.

We live in different countries, in different time zones. Whenever I hear of her going through some difficult situations at work, life-changing circumstances (such as her being an empty-nest), which may trigger her anxiety, I try to reach out to her, strike up a casual conversation, and simply to let her know that I am there for her, to support her. The distance hasn't been a barrier for me to reach out to her and gain her trust that she knows when she wants to speak, I am here for her.

The reason that I can have empathy for her is because I feel that I can almost see my personality fitting in her shoes had I not had the benefit of a strong supportive family environment. I could relate to the pressures she explained and feel it could easily have been my own mental illness.

Never alone

Finding and growing her faith in Jesus Christ in the recent years, have strengthened her tremendously. She has progressively grown to trust God. Key to her peace, I think, has been for her to feel grateful, growingly, day by day, year after year, for more and more things and situations in her life. She is now also part of a church Care group that have genuinely been there to support and pray for her and with her. It is not a highway journey, but one with twists and turns. But, it is one that is growingly scenic, and most of all, her appreciation of the detours and that it is ok to do stopovers, because she is never traveling alone.

For those of us blessed enough to be in good mentally health, I believe it is our responsibility to get ourselves educated on what mental health illness looks like and be encouraged to be an active support to those vulnerable. And let those silent cries for help have a voice.

Websites and social media accounts like nami.org, @realdepressionproject, @dlcanxiety, @the_depression_chronicles11 help to provide some information on the subject.

It is worthwhile to take the time to do so - what you say or do may impact on or save a life.

Blog Update 17 August, 2021

On 17 August, ironically news came up that Naomi Osaki was reduced to tears upon Paul Daugherty of the Cincinnati Enquirer’s “aggressive questions” at a press conference prior to the Cincinnati Open.

I decided to watch the actual press conference.

The press conference started amicably. A journalist from USA Today even asked Noami if she could elaborate on how media interviews could be more pleasant for sports players, so that the media have a better idea.

And then, Paul Daugherty. “You’re not crazy about dealing with the media, especially in press conference settings. Yet you have a lot of external interests that are served by (your) media platform. How do you balance the two?"

Naomi was clearly hurt and offended by the question. And in a repressed way, gently explained that essentially she has had media attention due to her achievements as a tennis player.

She indirectly pointed out that her “external interests” were opportunities created out of her self-made achievements as a tennis player first and foremost. She is still trying to figure out how to “balance the two”. And then, she teared up.

That the media would want to cover stories about a champion, and do it for their own readership and financial interest, should not be twisted and made to be seen as if the media have handed a platform to Naomi for her other interests. Rather she has worked and earned herself a spot in the tennis world, and therefore the public attention, which the media would like to ride on, have opened up opportunities for external interests.

In addition, Naomi has never said that she would not entertain media inquiries. She mentioned exploring other ways in which sports players could respond to media inquiries, other than press inquiries.

So, let’s just be clear about that. And that is why a question such as Paul Daugherty’s is unprofessional, in poor taste and just plain unkind.

While I believe that sports players are aware of the role of sponsors, media and the public that contribute towards their income, I also believe that every individual has a different personality and handles pressures differently.

Every person should have the right to unapologetically prioritize and address the cause of his own mental health anxieties whatever that may be, because mental health is health.