Leaders in Doubt

Healthy Dose of Discipline or...?

My sister and I have often been told that we embrace our work responsibilities tightly, sometimes too tightly. The ownership over work and accountabilities that sometimes seemingly go beyond even actual shareholders’. So the high demands we place on our team members was the corollary.

In a growingly rapid-fire digital world, the pace of work seems increasingly critical.

Accountability, discipline, initiative, persistence - we advocate, propose, encourage, demand, model. Tight reins until proven maturity in handling accountabilities, we say.

Yet in the stillness of the night, I would wonder and second-guess where was the fine line between pulling back and forging on, so that team members could voluntarily choose to embrace a culture of productivity and growth-mindset.

The discomfort mounts further when fellow-leaders do not impose the same level of standards within their teams, and so our unfortunate teams of 'demanding leaders', like a shackled flock casts envious looks upon the neighbor's greener grass from afar.

And Then Some

Besides ensuring profitability and growth, leaders are expected to win over the hearts and minds of the crew.

But then, when does foundational discipline become perceived as too harsh?

When all we want, as Warren Buffet said, is “No drama or negativity. Just higher goals and higher motivation”.

This ain't easy. Especially with other colleagues who have it easier, chuckling in the background.

My Story

8 years ago I started working at an organization whose corporate culture was in stark contrast to my previous high-intensity, productivity-results-oriented global organization.

Naturally my first team address was about adopting a new spirit of growth-mindset, and quarantining them from the rest of the organization’s old conflicting culture.

This was followed by a series of tech and skills support along with systems that demanded higher individual accountability for their area of work.

The perpetual cycle of Plan-Do-Check-Action was ongoing. I told the team that I had high expectations of them because I knew they had greater potential and truly believed in their abilities.

Even whilst celebratory snacks, awards and gifts were also incorporated as part of my overall Productivity Program initiative, I often wondered if my 'against-the current' approach and demanding discipline was too hard on them.

If good leadership meant a softer approach?

Validation

The first Christmas after I resigned, I received a couriered gift from Tim, a former team member. The customized tumbler embossed with my name and the words: A simple thank you.

I thanked him and told him he did not know how much it meant to me. It was true, because I had received all my farewell gifts from the entire team on my last day of work, but this was different.

The quelling of my self-doubt and restoration of my faith in the un-compromised pursuit of and commitment towards professionalism, paid by this simple thermos flask was beyond priceless.

Another team member, Vany, a bubbly single mother, who was also Tim’s cubicle buddy, was someone who would often suffer the brunt of my “Productivity Program”.

Vany was an average learner, but she had a fighter’s spirit and always kept an open mind if you knew how to explain things to her.

Vany had been laid off when the company downsized during the pandemic. She later on found work at an electronics company. Early this year she suddenly reached out to me, saying that her Global Brand Director had just resigned. “Why don’t you take her spot?”, she Whatsapp-ed.

To be told you are qualified for a position is flattering. But to want to work with and be led by you after experiencing it in the past, is mighty humbling.

I was humbled. Truly.

I learned that there is no betrayal in persistence and commitment towards what is true and right.

As long as our intention is pure, our stride consistent and our tongue gentle, do not falter, do not doubt. There is light at the end of the tunnel.